California Redwood Birding Trail

Posts Tagged ‘Giving Birth’

You are always not in the mood for the intercourse, which disappoints your partner most of the time. Much as he would like to be as understandable as he is, he just can’t seem to get the point of your lack of sexual desire. You on the other hand feel very much guilty about the whole situation. You know you always mess up each exciting night that you lie in bed with your partner. You are trying, alright but it simply isn’t enough to get you feeling hot. There is nothing wrong with your man, that for sure you are very much aware of, but you just can’t feel that surge of hot blood in your body – that libido you need is not at all present every time your partner starts showing his affection for you. The flame has died down even when it has not started to burn yet. It was as you can describe it – frustrating and you just feel so helpless.

Female libido loss is common to women. There are many women who haven’t recognized the problem yet, thinking that lack of sexual desire is normal for female species. Some women claim that they can live without sex and without any thought of it. There are women on the other hand, who are aware that they are suffering from a condition called, Female Sexual Arousal Disorder. It is a condition where a woman feels no excitement about sex or a great drop in female libido level.

Female libido loss is caused by many factors. A certain woman may experience female libido loss due to physical causes like anemia, which is common to women. Anemia is caused by lack of iron supply in the body. Diseases like diabetes are also one of the causes. Alcoholism and drug abuse may also greatly affect the supply of libido in the body. Hormonal changes may also contribute to the situation. Some women experience libido loss after giving birth.

Female libido loss may also be attributed to the following psychological factors: depression, stress, work-related problems, anxiety, and bad experiences in the past especially during childhood like sexual abuse or rape, hang-ups, unsettled differences or serious problems with your partner, or lack of privacy at home.

The good thing is, there are known cures and treatment for female libido loss. Sexual enhancement products are made available for women with this problem. There are herbal supplements that can revive your sexual desire and make you as passionate as you were before during sex. There are also natural ways to increase a female libido like going for exercises that boosts your sexual capability, preparing your body and your thoughts for sex and even eating diets that include aphrodisiacs that are known to boost your sexual energy. One can also start discussing this with a therapist if the problem is psychological or to a physician if the loss is due to a physical cause.

It is also important that you discuss the matter to your partner. His support is what you need at this phase in your life.

Summer’s a great time for evening walks, except for one problem – mosquitoes. Many couples like to walk at night. They’ll be walking along, enjoying the cool air, when zap! One or both of them gets bitten.

Mosquitoes don’t discriminate between genders. I don’t know how they choose their targets. But the mosquitoes that bite are the females. The females literally suck blood to get the nutrients they need to develop fertile eggs.

So I started thinking…

After giving birth, women continue to need nutrients to feed our young. We require emotional as well as physical “food” to raise healthy children. Where do we get those nutrients? Is it possible that we depend on others the way these female mosquitoes depend on us?

Many of us grew up in the Cinderella era, during which time we were taught to find husbands so that they will “take care of Daddy’s little girl.” No matter how educated we became, some part of us wanted to remain that little girl who can rely on a man to take care of her.

So we may say to our children, “Just wait until your father comes home!” when we’ve run out of energy to discipline them. We’ll greet our spouses with a litany of complaints and expectations when they walk in the door. If they don’t deliver, we zap them. And watch out! A female on the warpath leaves great big welts.

It’s easy to fall into the mosquito pattern, to bite the ones we love.

There are other, healthier means of satisfying our emotional needs. Women have an enormous capacity to connect with others. Realistically speaking, our men cannot fulfill our relationship needs. Depending on them to do so results in tension and increasingly distant relationships. The more we complain, the more we cry, the more we display our hysterical feathers, the greater distance our men will run. Bites hurt. The men will withdraw to a safe place and will reach for the best repellent they can find, possibly in the form of an addiction or a more appealing female.

We don’t want our homes to become stagnant bodies of water that attract mosquitoes and nothing else. We need to keep moving and growing, so that the waters are constantly refreshed.

We can do better than we’re doing now. We can work on our relationship skills and use honey rather than repellent to encourage change. We can learn from others – even from animal trainers – how to improve our marriages.

In addition to satisfying personal relationships, we must develop clear priorities. Sarah Palin, former vice-presidential candidate, recently resigned from her post as Governor of Alaska. Some commentators view her decision as a sign of being a quitter, of her lacking “focus or discipline.” Governor Palin, it seems, had too much on her plate.

Judge Sonia Sotomayor, now being considered for the US Supreme Court, is another highly visible example of the difficulties a woman faces who tries to be the best at everything. Her first marriage broke up after two years and, as she states, “I cannot attribute that divorce to work, but certainly the fact that I was leaving my home at 7 and getting back at 10 o’clock was not of assistance in recognizing the problems developing in my marriage.”

Judge Sotomayor’s second marriage lasted eight years.

It takes much work to maintain a relationship. That work multiplies when we have children, spouses and elderly parents as part of our families. We can’t do everything all the time and to the same degree. We need to choose.

And we alone are responsible for our life choices.

Women have enormous responsibilities, matched only by our capabilities. When we accept the former we can begin to develop the latter.

It’s never too late to start anew.